I didn’t realize how much I was living from a place of scarcity until I was on the highway getting mad at other drivers for moving too slow, even though I had plenty of time to get to work, and ended up being there 10 minutes early. I didn’t realize how much I thought I needed more until I was meditating and was anxious that the timer would run out before I was calm… so I kept checking on it.
I didn’t realize how much I didn’t feel like I had enough until I found I had the chance to ask someone to pay me for services, that I really didn’t need payment for.
I didn’t realize how much I already have until I was able to recognize my pattern… it was the anxiousness while meditating that did it. I found that my heart was beating fast and I was truly stressed that the time would run out before I figured this shit out…and then it hit me. As long as I think I do not have enough, I will never have enough. As soon as I start looking and being grateful for all that I have, I find I have so much that I have enough to give away.
I have gas in the car, food in the fridge, love of friends and family, a life that I love living, and if all of this isn’t enough, then what will be? What do I need in order to stop living from a place of feeling like I still need more? Do I need more food? Do I need more clothes? Part of me says YES! but I know that I really don’t, in fact I should clear out my closet because I have a lot of clothes. Do I need more friends, another husband, more money to spend, another meal out? what? what is it that I feel like I need? Why am I hustling?
I find it so easy to get lost in the idea that “if you’re not struggling then you’re not trying hard enough” Unless you’re up nights stressed out of your mind working or trying to pay off a credit card bill then you could be doing more. Stuck in the “If you have time to play you have time to work” mentality.
But where is the allowance to be happy? Why is there a stigma attached to saying “in this moment I am very happy and I don’t feel like I need anything else.” People assume that you’re lazy or unmotivated, when really being happy doesn’t mean you stop trying it means you are grateful and don’t feel the need to go cutting people off on the highway rushing into work, or you don’t eat the last piece of cake just because it’s there. When you live from a place of having enough you find that you have enough to give away. Happiness never decreases when it is shared.
Where can you find something to give today? not necessarily material things, but a smile, a hug a laugh, time. It sounds so cliche, I know, but it’s the truth. When you feel like you have enough you find that you are able to give to others more. Take 10 minutes to appreciate what you have and I think you’ll find that you have more than enough to give.
Give time today. Leave 10 minutes early so that you can help someone up the stairs, or bring flowers into work without feeling the need to struggle. Live life like you’ve only got one shot at it and know that, that is enough.