I’m having some coffee and thought time to myself this morning, contemplating a lot of things, I have a bunch of “big articles” I’d like to write but they require more thought and organization.
I am missing the part of me that goes from “gosh that sounds like fun I’d love to do that” to the groundwork and the organization needed to bring it through to fruition. Growing up there were a lot of instances of “this is the next big thing that we’re going to push for and do” and then 3 months later, nothing. I didn’t see anyone actually bring any sort of plan they laid out to a successful fruition. Sure there was mediocre success, like making the months rent, that was always pleasant, but then there was the next month and you’d have to go through the process all over again. There were pushes to “win disciples” but as long as they turned into a supporter, well that was good enough.
Going through my 200 hour Yoga Teacher Training was the first thing that I completed from start to finish. I didn’t chicken out at 180 hours or think “well this is good enough” I actually finished all the requirements, and then some because I loved learning all I could about Yoga. I was 27.
I had done the training for myself, no one else. It felt good to know I could invest in myself and actually carry through, I was very proud of myself for completing the program and chasing after my dream, it was also eye opening to know that I could finish what I set out to do. This might be a very basic mindset for anyone else who grew up in a regular school environment where you have tests, complete them and then move on, or those who played sports where you win a tournament and go on to the next level etc, but for me there was never any sort of structure set up so I just tried to get by each day doing what I was expected to do and “who knows what’ll happen tomorrow” Maybe the Antichrist would finally get here and then my troubles would be over :)
One of my biggest challenges in life is learning to put working legs to my brain child. I’ll have an idea and LOVE IT! I’ll see it in my head I’ll pick people or locations out and imagine how exciting it would be to see this come to life!! And then groundwork will come up and I’ll think meh… maybe I’ll do it later, I’ll wait for the right time… after all who has time to go to city hall and apply for permits etc. Old habits of “well maybe if I do this instead it’ll be good enough” will pop up and more often than I care to admit I’ll take the lazy way out. But that’s no way to live.
If I don’t constantly challenge myself to take risks I find that I’ll simply stand still, nothing will improve. It won’t get worse… but it won’t improve, so unless this is as far as I want to go, I have to keep on moving forward- no matter how scary it is to put myself up against a challenge that I don’t quite know how to complete.
My Yoga practice is so helpful in challenging me. There’s always another step to take, more to discover and there is also no “quick” way to do yoga. It’s a slow process that you’ve gotta commit to for the rest of your life, otherwise it can be frustrating. The magic of the practice is that it imitates life, when I find that I’ve been stuck in my practice for a long time I can usually look at my life and find the same thing, I haven’t added any challenges or tried something new in a while. When I am trying new things in life and pushing myself to reach forward, I’ll usually find my practice starts growing as well.
I do not have the perfect yoga practice or the perfect life, but I am so, so thankful for what I do have and I won’t let it go to waste by settling for 75% of what I set out to do, I need to keep moving forward and finding that balance of pursuing the things that are actually important to me and which I wish to complete 100%, and letting go of the less important things or things that I’ve allowed to be “put” onto me by others. Never stop moving forward and chasing what is important to you. Personal dreams and goals are important, invest in yourself and improve on what you have, lean into your strengths and watch them grow!
Now if you’ll excuse me I have some Excel sheets to fill out :)